You've continued down that path of loss and worry and crisis, 2011, and I'm glad to see you go. I love fresh starts, and flipping the calendar over to a new year is Fresh Start X-treme.
To put this year in perspective, the best thing that happened is my husband's neck tumor was benign. We spent three weeks last spring in malignant limbo, getting things in order, fattening him up for chemo, preparing for the worst, which was what the initial diagnosis indicated we should be doing. One more test showed us – and his incredulous doctor – the precious diagnosis: benign. Snip-snip and the tumor was gone.
Actually the very best thing, as a result of the scare, is that my husband once-and-for-all, a-day-at-a-time, quit smoking. And with all the electronic calendars at my fingertips, I failed to record The Date, but we know it was sometime in March. So, YAY for him! He could've had a baby by now!
In 2011 I lost a close friendship, the ending of which still baffles me. I saved the e-mail exchange upon which it ended and look at it every now and then. The very next week began the trips to doctors and hospitals with my husband, so I didn't have
- much emotional support during that issue or
- much time to worry it.
Also in 2011, my AA sponsor lost her battle with cancer just as her beloved garden began to bloom. And there's been some family drama I can't really write about. And I've gained 13 pounds since last January. At one point this year I hit my highest weight ever, a very scary number indeed. (I'm back down from it, but just barely.)
Whatever is going on in my life, the underlying theme is always and forever my weight. I have for years been working on it. Many of you have been working on it with me, since the early days of The Shrinking Knitter.
A year ago today my goals were to
- eat from the newly introduced U.S. Food Pyramid
- do a minimum of 60 minutes of intentional activity every day
- strength-train twice a week
- run a marathon before the end of the year and
- take a picture with my good camera every day.
Fail, fail, fail, fail, fail. Well, unless I run a marathon today. Heh.
But notice how I've evolved! I don't set weight-loss goals, I set action goals, goals which will get me where I want to go (which is, of course, weighing less) but that don't set me up for failure by specifying a number or by being too vague.
But I failed anyway.
Therefore, the only way to go is up. RIGHT??? Please tell me I'm right, because if 2012 turns out to be anything like 2011 I'm not sure how I would handle it.
No goals this year. No resolutions. No setting myself up for failure. All I really want to do is to stay motivated to keep on keepin' on, and to dig myself out of this negative, crappy mood. (My husband would be so grateful.)
Tomorrow I will make Hoppin' John from those black-eyed peas, and I will knit and take a walk and, as Frasier always said, "Enjoy my day." That's one more thing no one else can do for me.
So, 2011, I for one am not at all sorry to see you go. I will look back on you with relief that you're gone, and I won't miss you at all. See ya. Wouldn't wanna be ya.