When you are sorrowful
look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth
you are weeping for that
which has been your delight.
It's been two weeks since my dad died. I hope I never forget his last phone call, just a couple hours prior to his death. We chit-chatted for a couple minutes, then he said, "I love you, Sweetie," and hung up, and I thought all was well. When I got a call a couple hours later from his wife's cousin (who was traveling with them), I thought she was going to tell me they were in North Carolina already. Instead, they hadn't made it out of West Virginia.
I've been to one memorial service, in Ohio, and will go to another in Florida next month. The one in Ohio was perfect. Dad was a private pilot and an Ohio Air National Guard retiree, and lots of friends from both groups (and some were part of both groups) were there, sharing laughter and memories. My son spoke beautifully about his grandfather, as well.
I find myself eating junk food and not wanting to cook. Tootsie Pops (my younger granddaughter calls them "lollies") are my current favorite meal. I've taken one walk, a five-miler, which was pretty ambitious and wiped me out for the rest of the day. I have no energy beyond what has to be done early in the morning. I spend the afternoons on the couch and I go to bed early in the evening. No wonder I'm not sleeping well, eh?
My husband, a retired psychiatrist, says 'this, too, shall pass' and assures me I'm responding normally to one of the most difficult situations I'll ever face. I realize our parents are supposed to predecease us. But Dad had been doing so well, and he just knew that when he got home (to Florida) the doctors would be able to fix him right up again.
I guess we should all consider this post a placeholder until the real Debbi returns. In the meantime, don't take anyone for granted. Let your loved ones know how much they mean to you. Spend time with people who enrich your life. Like this guy: