Friday, November 9, 2012

Knitting fail ...

but walk WIN!

In fact, I walked yesterday when I hadn't planned to, and I just got back from today's walk. I promised you a picture and SNAP! there it is.

My husband has been nagging me on my back encouraging me to take better care of myself. That's his shadow on the left. I humored him for a mile, then turned around and headed back home, while he's still out there taking care of himself.

Have any of you ever been nagged encouraged to the point where you're willing to shoot yourself in the foot just to be rebellious about it? That's nearly the point I'm at with him. Before I get there, I'm going to tell him how I feel. He's a shrink, so he'll be completely understanding, right? Heh.

I didn't knit yesterday, nor did I watch a movie. I spent a lot of time online and I took a nap. Oh, and I took a walk. But I might have already mentioned that.

I began my day picking up a gallon of milk from one of the Amish neighbors and then going to get blood drawn. Our local hospital offers low-cost blood screening twice a year, and I take advantage of it, since my health insurance doesn't cover labwork. Or office visits. Or x-rays. I'm sorry, did I call it health insurance? I meant wealth insurance. If I have an accident or get cancer, no one can take the house away.

I mentioned that I hoped this time they'd find I had thyroid disease. The woman in the next chair said, "Oh, I prayed for that last night before I went to sleep!" We all laughed and laughed and still, secretly, hoped it would come to pass.

Because why else could I eat, um, less-than-ideally for the past couple months and not gain a pound, and eat healthfully for months on end and not shed any? I'm n-e-a-r-l-y beyond caring. I've worked on my weight, dealt with my weight and fought my weight for years. The only thing I haven't done is lost my weight.

And I'm not banking on losing any if I begin taking better care of myself. But taking better care isn't just about pounds. My blood pressure was 151/78 at the hospital this morning. That's the highest I ever remember it. I'm supposed to be taking a daily diuretic (the cheapest blood pressure medicine available), but I've been neglecting it.

So I popped one when I returned from my walk. And I'll call in a refill tomorrow, since there are only three pills remaining in the bottle. And I'll walk again tomorrow.

For me, not for him.

1 comment:

denise said...

I TOTALLY get and sympathize with where you are on the nagging thing. My mother was after me about my weight from the time I was a teenager until about 8 years ago when one day I lost my patience and told her in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that she was never to mention my weight to me again.

Amazingly, she's listened. If I might forget and bring something up about it, she will sometimes venture some advice with a great deal of trepidation in her voice - I can tell that she will remembers how serious I was when I said it.

As I'm fond of saying, "If you could nag someone skinny, I'd have been a size 4 since 1970-something." Sadly, the nagging has the exact opposite effect. So much so that I have spent some time reflecting on why that is.

Eventually, I came to realize that for ME (this might not apply to you at all), it's like the person nagging is taking my personal power away. And any weight I lose or accomplishment I achieve becomes "theirs" instead of "mine." So out of spite, I will do the exact opposite of what the nagger wants me to do.

Of course, note that I said my mother has been pretty good about staying away from the weight topic for a number of years and I have not lost the weight I need to - or even kept off what I had off at the time it happened - so that's obviously not the only issue. It's just that IT. DOES. NOT. HELP!

And yet, they nag on... If only they knew that we already hear the nagging from within and adding their voice to the chorus can truly be the last straw to turn us in the wrong direction!

Good luck!