Thursday, July 18, 2013

Yesterday, on a whim ...

I tried on the dress I wore for the blessing ceremony/wedding celebration my husband and I had with our families in September, 2006. (For those of you who may be new here, we eloped to Las Vegas in August of that year.)

Size 12. It fits.

Here's my favorite shot from the party, and here's a full-length shot of me in the dress (not terribly flattering, but oh, well.)

I didn't want to set the camera up to take a current shot, but one of these days, soon, I will.

I've had a mini-goal in my mind for the last month or so of weighing what I did when we were married on our anniversary, which is 18 days from today. That would mean a total loss – this time around, heh – of 41 pounds by August 5, six more pounds from the most recent Monday-morning weigh-in.

I'm not sure it's going to happen. As both of you know, my body doesn't release weight consistently or predictably. I've been quite surprised by some of the weigh-ins since I switched my eating plan in April, sometimes happily and sometimes not so much.

But anyway, my intention is now out there in the Universe. We'll see what happens.

This point in a dedicated weight-loss effort is fraught with peril. At least that's been my experience, so I'll just speak for myself. If any of you have had similar feelings or thoughts, feel free to jump in via the comments. These may not look like roadblocks, but believe me: They are. Or at least they have the potential to be.
My clothes fit.Shorts, pants, skirts, tops, outerwear, underwear – I can find something in my closet or dresser that fits and looks good for just about any occasion. I even tried on swimsuits last night, and I could get away with wearing one of them – also a size 12 – although the elastic in the legs is getting a little loose. That's the advantage of always having hope and never getting rid of those too-small clothes.
(I have tossed many pieces, of course, over the years, and I'm regretting some of those culling decisions. I used to have a blue shirt, embroidered all over, that I wish I had again, and I donated a lovely never-worn – it was too small when I bought it, and it would have cost more to return it than I paid for it! – top to Goodwill in January that I figured I'd never wear or look good in. Now I wonder if I should have at least given it a try.)
People are noticing.Especially after the haircut. I've gotten so much positive feedback, both in person and from Facebook friends, that it's pretty darned tempting to rest on my laurels.
I feel terrific.I do. My hip doesn't hurt. I have lots of energy. (Well, except for yesterday. Working outdoors all morning in the hot, hot sun and very close humidity really took it out of me.) But in general I can get a lot of stuff done in a day. I used to just figure, like Scarlett, that tomorrow is another day and it – whatever it is – would get done eventually. I'm not hungry, and cravings are minimal and easily satisfied.
I can do things comfortably I couldn't previously do.I'm talking about basic things like bending over to pick something up or tying my shoes. The combination of the hip pain and a big belly resulted in great discomfort when I dropped something. I have, however, steadfastly refused to buy a picker-upper. Or Velcro shoes.
I was training for my first half-marathon back in August of 2006, and I experienced the phenomenon of NOT losing weight during training. I don't remember what I weighed when I ran that race the following April. Let's just say it was Wedding Day Weight + X.

I had hoped, of course, to drop some lard when I stepped up my training. But I think I fell into the "you need to eat starchy carbs if you're going to run" trap. Pizza and pasta were my friends. That trap is deceptive, because I've been adding a little running to my almost-daily walks all summer and have yet to suffer any ill effects. And the only carbs I'm eating are from fruits and vegetables.

I can't stop now. As good as I feel now, I know I would feel a whole lot better if I weighed a whole lot less. I'm 15 pounds from the goal I set for myself on Christmas Day. I'm 29 pounds from the absolute upper limit of a normal BMI.

I can do this. One day, one meal, one walk at a time. I can do this.


Vickie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vickie said...

Love all the traps you mentioned (well I don't love the actual traps, but love how well you wrote and the ones you included are spot on).

I would add one more - my body must 'like' this weight.

It is the habits that support ANY weight, low or high, so when one gets 'stuck' at a certain weight, it is the habits that hold it (good or bad).

I remember those wedding shots, (how time FLIES), I remember the wedding. Lovely.

Vickie said...

delete was me, major typo

Winnie said...

You rock Debbi! I have only saved a few things from my "thinner self" days. One dress that I wore to my brothers wedding etc. I am going to join a local Y I think as I keep saying I will excercise and of course, when I am home, I never do it. Maybe that dress can be my goal. I love the dress, and I love your hair cut, it frames your face so nicely. (Must be cooler too...)

Diandra said...

Yay for wearing the dress again!