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So, how's that workin' for ya?

Um, not so much.

If you'll recall, I decided last December that 2010 would be The Year. The plan was to lose a measly five pounds a month for 10 months to get to a good weight for me. January was so-so – I lost 2.5 pounds, but wasn't discouraged and extended the deadline.

Well, it looks like 2011 might be The Year. Because February sucked, people. SUCKED! M@rla won't be calling me a bitch this month.

Jen's most recent post about body image hit a nerve with me. When it comes down to it, no matter how I feel, it's the number (and you all know the number I'm talkin' about) that provides the feedback, either positive or negative.

Today's the first of the month, my weigh-in day. I decided at the beginning of February to just do my workouts and eat reasonable portions of healthful foods and not get on the scale every day (or, honestly, two or three times a day). And so we're back to the title of this post.

I don't even want to tell you how much I gained. Let's just say it isn't pretty.

Like Jen, though, there are times (I wrote about it the other day) when I really have a good feeling about what I've been doing, and think I'm seeing progress. Jillian's workouts are hard; I've been managing to keep up, and I even think I'm seeing some improvement in performance, endurance, strength and stamina. I started doing the DVD around February 11th; I cut one session short and skipped two. That's not too bad for someone who is allergic to dumbbells.

Is it?

But back to February sucking … I have a glimmer of hope that February was the last month of the worst winter I've experienced since I moved to the Middle of Nowhere. It started in December with a big, beautiful snow right before Christmas. How pretty! How fun! A white Christmas! Awwwww!

It eventually melted, and there was a day or two where we actually saw grass instead of snow on the ground. And then we got hit again. And again. And again. And it started being not so pretty or fun, and, really, who wants a white Valentine's Day, anyway? The sun has been above the clouds for weeks, save one glorious warmish day where I got to actually walk outside – in the snow! – without a coat.

(I know the sun is above the clouds because I'm a private pilot and I've flown up there. Lots of times. My license isn't current and it's been a long time since I've been PIC* but I remember that there is a sun and it is up there. Above. The. Clouds.)

Today is the Dieter's Trifecta, where you combine the first of the month with a Monday following a miserable weigh-in. It's at this point where the professional dieter (I've been gaining and losing weight since I was 11 years old, so I think I qualify as a pro) either gives up – until the next time – or keeps on keepin' on. The KOKO-ing usually, during the Trifecta, includes Doing Something Different.

Because obviously what I've been doing isn't working.

As much as I loathe doing it, I'm going to – for one month – weigh, measure and write down everything I eat. There are no trips planned this month. I'm in charge of my food. I can use the journaling tool for information, not punishment or restriction. I have a calorie-per-day goal, and no food is off limits.

I'm very hopeful that I can soon add some long walks to my daily exercise routine. I'm well aware that a 20-minute workout, no matter how hard, doesn't really burn enough calories to make a significant difference on the scale, even though Jillian promises it will. My experience with weight training is that it takes a lot longer than two weeks to see The Number drop.

So. Here we go again. I wouldn't know how to quit doing this. My subconscious has been on a diet practically my whole life. How would I even begin to give up? The journaling will give me data that I can use to tweak the eating part of the plan. The weather will, I hope, give me the opportunity to add a long walk to the weight-training routine. In another month I can think about working in the yard and garden, for even more calorie burning and – dare I say it – pleasure?

After all is said and done, pleasure might be the missing link. Most of the things I do for enjoyment – knitting, crafting, cooking, baking, reading, writing, photography – don't burn calories. After a winter like this one, though, being physically active outdoors will be such a pleasure!

*Pilot In Command


denise said…
UGH! Doncha just hate that scale when it doesn't give you the feedback you want!?!

But, I'll bet you can make up for it with your new plan. Journaling is like the magic bullet for weight loss I think. It's unfortunate that I'd rather take a real bullet than keep a food journal - and it shows. Otherwise, I would be a lot further along my journey as well, I'm sure!

Hope the weather soon cooperates so that you can get back to the workouts/walking/running that you enjoy - exercise being the other magic bullet (shoot me again).

Just KoKo and it'll start happenin' for you.

BTW, the early part of your post had me humming "Somewhere over the Rainbow"...skies are blue (and the sun is there)! An earworm I don't mind having...for a short while at least.
D said…
Oh Debbi, I'm sorry it's such a hard time. I recognize those hard times too well and have no magic words. Except to be kind to yourself. Sometimes it just feels like too much, doesn't it? I mean, really, how long must we KOKO? How long must we see ourselves as "dieters?" I still believe that eating real food, not too much (Michael Pollan's mantra) is the way to go, and it really sounds like you were on that track.

It's also March, my most dreaded month of the year, where the gray and the snow seem neverending. Maybe blame some of the blah-ness on March.

Hang in there :)

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