Monday, December 20, 2010

Did you read Part 2?

CAP followed up on the great post I referenced last week. One of the lines that stands out and is so relevant is this:
Each new year I resolved to be less of myself.
To me, that is brilliant! In resolving to be "less of myself," I inevitably became less genuine, less mindful, less … fill in the blank, while at the same time becoming physically bigger, fatter, more!

In this second post, she responds to some comments from the previous one, with depth, thought, detail, heart and soul. 

She is blazing the trail I'd like to be on. I'm still hung up on calories in/calories out, I still think sugar is "bad" and whole grains are "good." I have a long way to go, but I feel like the insanity in my life with regard to food is somehow fading away.

We had to eat out quite a bit this weekend, as we were traveling. My husband and I have completely different food philosophies, and that makes things difficult. He has managed his weight by eating one meal (dinner) a day and having something else (yogurt, usually) before he goes to bed. I, on the other hand, believe in eating three squares and a snack or two. I think science backs me up – keeping your blood sugar levels steady would, I think, be a good thing.

He, however, sees that his weight is normal and mine is, well, let's just say above average, and therefore his plan must be the one to follow.

I insisted that we eat more frequently than just dinner. At each meal, I ate according to my hunger level. I had dessert once, but mostly – and I think this is a result of eating home-grown, home-cooked food for most of this year – I ate simply and nutritiously. I picked an Indian restaurant for dinner Saturday night and savored my meal – Chicken Tika Masala that was superb.

Perhaps recounting all this weekend food stuff proves that my food issues aren't fading away, now that I think about it. Eating disorders come in all shapes and sizes. But I do feel that I'm inching closer to ordered eating, instead of disordered.

One thing I didn't get any of this weekend was intentional activity. Sidewalks were snow-covered, temperatures were frigid and time for myself was limited. I saw a few hardy runners out there getting their miles in, though, and felt the tiniest pang of regret that I'm not that dedicated.

Very tiny. Heh.

1 comment:

gingersnapper said...

Your weight is "above average"! LOL!

Thanks for the link again, these two posts are just so full of brilliance.