Thursday, March 24, 2011

Work-ups and workouts

My husband's otolaryngologist and the radiologist who read the CT neck scan are in disagreement as to the location and type of tumor present. Needless to say, our emotions have been all over the place.

The upshot is that he will have a biopsy of the tumor on March 30. We'll get the results April 5. This plan cancels a second biopsy; depending on the results we get in April, he may still need that, but since there's a question, the plan has changed.

April 5 seems like a long way away. We're going to enjoy this time and think positive thoughts.

I've been walking five miles about every other day, and hope to string a few consecutive days together between now and next Wednesday. We walk together sometimes, and that's been very pleasant, but we also want and need to go solo. It's helpful to have some time to do nothing but think, and walking is great for that. I went camera-crazy yesterday; if you follow me on Facebook, you might have seen a few odd images posted in the morning.

I wish I were the kind of person who "just can't eat a bite" when she's feeling tense or anxious. I'm the one who dives into whatever carby goodie happens to be handy, and if there's nothing available, I'll make something. I've been known to mix sugar, flour, shortening and milk into a thick, doughy paste and eat it with a spoon. Kind of like cookie dough without the eggs. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Since the diagnosis is now in question, my husband has decided his weight-gaining program isn't quite as urgent. He's gained five pounds so far, but doesn't want to get any heavier. He's still not smoking. Yeah for him!

I thank you all for your comments, thoughts and prayers. We've had support from a huge number of friends; it seems like the whole town is praying for us. I'm not refusing any kind of supplication; we are being lifted in the Light by Christians (Baptists, Episcopalians, Methodists, Catholics, Quakers), Jews, Wiccans and Buddhists. Bring it on.


gingersnapper said...

Glad to hear he's still not smoking. As an ex-smoker, I know how incredibly difficult it can be to quit, and here he's doing it under extreme stress.

You are always so wise, Debbi. Yes, you do both need time alone. It would be so easy to think you have to hover over him every second, and the poor guy is thinking "WHEN is she ever going to leave me alone?"

D said...

It's a hard to place to be in, the wondering place. I'll be thinking of you and hoping for the best news...

denise said...

OMG - I thought I was the only one who mixed up partial sweets recipes to eat when I'm craving sweets! I will sometimes just eat plain sugar if I'm desperate enough.

Not that I'm advocating any of that, just good to know others do some of the same crazy things I do sometimes.

Hang in there!