I'm tired. I'm tired of being busy. I'm tired of accommodating Other People. I'm tired of to-do lists and chores and things hanging over my head. It seems like I never stop, there's always another thing on the list, something undone that needs to be done now.
When life gets crazy like it is now, I either sleep too much (Friday: 10 hours; Saturday: 11 hours) or too little (last night: six hours).
The helluvit is, I bring this on myself. I'm in charge of my schedule, for the most part, and I can opt in or out of events and commitments and projects. Obviously I have opting IN down pat. It's the opting OUT I need a little help with.
So what did I do all weekend? Swept and mopped the acre (well, it seems like an acre anyway) of floors in the house. Mowed three acres of "lawn." Walked, a little. Did laundry, a lot (the only reason I was able to cross off "clean the bathroom in the garage" was because the washer overflowed).
While it's satisfying to cross things off the list, I have trouble seeing the things done (maybe because there aren't very many "done" things?), and concentrate instead on the things undone, which – when it's all written out like that – is overwhelming and leads to inertia. And computer solitaire.
And then there are the normal, everyday things that aren't on either list, but which still clutter my brain: Is the milk still good enough to make yogurt? (It is.) Do I have time to bake a couple loaves of bread to stash in the freezer? (And if I do, will I have to mop the kitchen again?)
The only way this busy-ness would come to a halt is if someone died. Or had a nervous breakdown.
I'm not quite ready to kick the bucket.
P.S. If you're wondering where you, too, can get jars like empty jar #2, I found sets of them here. Crate and Barrel also sells them individually.