Skip to main content


Valentine's Day fell on a Sunday 20 years ago. Restaurants tables were few and far between February 13, 1993, but my date and I managed to snag one after a short wait.

It was our first date. Who in the world has their first date on Valentine's Day weekend? All those other couples were looking dreamy-eyed at each other over candles and cassoulet, while he and I had typical first-date conversations: who's your favorite author, where did you grow up, how did you get sober? (I guess most folks don't share last-drunk stories on a first date. But since we met in AA, we probably did.)

He's my husband now, so I guess it all worked out. Heh.

We were in our 40s then. He'll be 70 later this year. Time flies when you're having fun.

Of course it's not all fun. I pout and throw things and threaten to run away when life gets to be too much for me. His style is to retreat and grow silent. But those times are few and far between, and as the years have passed, they have grown fewer and farther.

Or at least I like to think so.

He still surprises me, and we're both pretty astonished – given our relationship histories – that we're still together 20 years later. The first couple years were touch-and-go. The third and fourth years we did the long-distance thing between Ohio and West Virginia. And then, we sealed the deal. I sold my house, quit my job and in 1997 moved to the Middle of Nowhere.

Because we are who we are, we didn't get married until 2006, but we lived happily in sin all those years.

He likes to eat and I like to cook, so that works out. We both like to read, but he prefers books and I'd rather use the Nook. He's learned to love walking and I've moved way left of the salad fork. (As both of you know!) Politics is now one of our common, shared interests. He'll never embrace technology and gadgets the way I do, and I'll never appreciate classical music the way he does.

We complement each other nicely, though. In the next 20 years, I'd like for him to learn to cook and he'd like for me to divest myself of some yarn. I've serious doubts about either of those things happening. But it's something to work toward.



Unknown said…
Congratulations Debbi!!! This was beautifully written with lots of love for your wonderful husband. I'm very glad you both are in my life! Barbra
Congratulations to you both! Staying together happily takes work, lovely work, but work!

Mindy said…
What a wonderful description of your life together. Good job on making it work!
Audrey Humaciu said…
Congratulations. (btw, my parents had their first date on Valentine's Day too - a blind date no less)
Diandra said…

This morning, I slipped a card into Richard's bag that along the lines of "Having things in common makes a relationship agreeable, but it is the differences that make life interesting" (with a picture of ducks and cats).

(Richard and I are so different, we keep joking that no match-making site would have put us together. Luckily we are similar in all ways that matter.)

Popular posts from this blog


Update on the water: the circuit breaker tripped, either due to a power surge when the electricity came back on last night OR when lightning struck in the area. My neighbor's electric fence control box got hit in the same area. He was able to reset the circuit breaker for us and we have WATER! I think I'll go do a load of laundry. Heh.

And the winner is …

Kitten with a Whiplash, who left two comments and it was the second (which had nothing to do with the contest) which won the prize. Congratulations, and since the Kitten was the only commenter who expressed any interest in actually winning it, I'm so glad the Universe took care of it. Heh.

What a weekend! But first, how was yours? I hope you did some fun stuff and got some necessary stuff done, as well. It's all about balance.

Saturday was our fun day (but we had to drive, drive, drive to get there and then drive, drive, drive home again, all in one day, boy was I tired). We went to my husband's granddaughter's first birthday party. In addition to a sweet little doll, suitable for ages 0+ (meaning it has no parts that will come loose, and do you know how difficult it is to find dolls for babies when you live in the Middle of Nowhere?), I made her this:

I haven't sewn anything in a month of Sundays, so was a little apprehensive about finishing it on time, but this p…

I seriously thought this was sponsored by a drug company

My gingersnapping friend posted results of an online personality test, which clearly indicate she is in need of some serious therapy. Since I'm extremely well-adjusted and my psychiatrist husband hasn't pointed out any of my defects (lately), I decided to take it, as well.

Personality Disorder Test Results
Paranoid||||18%Schizoid||||||||||||||58%Schizotypal||||||30%Antisocial||||||26%Borderline||||||30%Histrionic||||||||||34%Narcissistic||||||||||34%Avoidant||||||26%Dependent||||18% Obsessive-Compulsive||||||30% Take Free Personality Disorder Test
Personality Test by
Whew! At least I'm not paranoid. I was really worried about that. Heh.

Similar tests on the internets are sponsored by drug companies. (This one apparently isn't.) They want you to be sick so you'll ask your doctor for their drugs. There are quizzes for disorders that you can physically test – blood pressure, diabetes – and for symptomatic conditions – pain, depression. Since I'm no…