Being there

You can gracefully decline invitations to some events. There may be certain parties you'd rather not go to, some reunions that aren't so meaningful, date nights where you'd really rather be alone.

Your daughter's law school graduation ceremony?

You want to be there. Trust me.

My daughter, the lawyer.
She takes the bar in February.

She wasn't even sure she wanted to be there, but after all was said and done, after the processional and the speeches and the, well, the pomp and circumstance of it all, she was happy to have the memories.

And so were all of us who were with her.

She graduated third in her class, and was asked to stand for special recognition with the others in the top 10 percent.

She spent four years taking classes (and tests!) at a nontraditional law school, with classmates who, like her, worked during the day, had families and friends and responsibilities outside of school. Some major MAJOR life events happened during her years of study. Events that might have derailed a woman with less energy, determination and grit.

She's truly an inspiration and a role model, not just for her children, but for all of her family and friends.

I drive between seven and eight hours when I visit my daughter and her family. I go twice a year, in January and June, and in the past have always attended performances by her children. I'm going to miss both of the recitals this year – a law-school graduation trumps a winter dance concert, and my granddaughter's high-school graduation will happen one week before spring recital.

My grandchildren have assured me they'd rather have me here for graduations than for performances.

You can gracefully decline invitations to some events. 

But you really ought to be there for others.