Friday, June 20, 2008

Yesterday I said that food had not been good. I don’t mean to pass judgment on food. Food is inherently neither good or bad; food is food.

My response to food, or my use (or abuse) of it, is another story.

Let’s start by acknowledging that I eat when I feel pressured, anxious or – I really dislike this word – stressed. And let’s further acknowledge that the past month has been nothing but pressure, anxiety and stress. When the most relaxing thing you’ve done in several weeks is fold laundry, you can bet that tension is high.

Let’s throw another wrench in the works – a bit of family drama, say – and sticking to a strict Phase One of South Beach was beginning to be more of a burden than a blessing.

I do fine for a while, and then I reach my own personal tipping point. It happened Tuesday evening, when the Universe handed me the three things I needed to go on a bender, of sorts:
  • Time
  • Money
  • Opportunity
I had a little extra time prior to my volunteer gig at the prison, I had my purse with me and a convenience store is conveniently located along my route. And they sell chocolate.

You will not find chocolate anywhere on anyone’s list of allowable Phase One foods.

So I guess I started over yesterday. Again. (Because I didn’t eat all of the chocolate Tuesday night, no-no-no, I saved some for Wednesday. Stupid, stupid, stupid.)

Coming up: More family drama, a family reunion, my dad’s second (of three) surgeries, two out-of-state trips. Pressure. Anxiety. Stress. Time. Money. Opportunity.

1 comment:

denise said...

I'm SO with ya sistah! I've managed to put on the remainder of the weight I lost back in 2003 over the last few months of "stress" related to trying to sell my condo in a (way) down market, deal with issues at work and within my family, and generally getting glum over the nightly news reports of rising prices etc.

I keep saying "as soon as this is over" or "as soon as that is over" it's back on track for me...but the truth is, it's never all over, is it? As Roseanne Roseanna Danna used to say..."It's ALWAYS something..."

So learning to cope in different ways makes a lot more sense than waiting for a time you don't have to cope...but what makes sense and what I can make myself do are, so far, entirely different things.

Good luck with your current South Beach adventure. And congrats on getting back to exercise!