Dear Joe

Here's a little political advice from the bottom of the ticket, not that you care or ever would follow it.

You don't have to answer reporters' questions.

Just because someone puts a microphone in front of you doesn't mean you have to provide a quote.

You could be "running late for an appointment." You could be "heading for the airport." You could even offer to "give it a little thought" before you put your foot in your mouth again.

Last week you defended the Koch Brothers. You know, the guys who are singlehandedly destroying our democracy.

Then, the day after the Center for Public Integrity wins a freakin' PULITZER for an investigative piece on a West Virginia law firm withholding evidence in black lung cases, you hand them an attaboy. Of course, they'd already handed you $50K.

You've been quoted many times (too many) as saying you're a "West Virginia Democrat, not a Washington Democrat."

Here's a little breaking news: No West Virginia Democrat I know would defend a law firm that withheld critical evidence in order to deny black-lung benefits to sick miners.

Here's a little more breaking news: I'm a West Virginia Democrat. And I vote. And I usually vote a straight ticket, being the good little Democrat I am.

Next time you're on the ballot, though, I think I'll have to pass. You're hurting Democrats who are trying to get elected. And you're hurting West Virginia. Your predecessor must surely be spinning in his grave.