Decisions, decisions

Tuesday. Weigh-in day. I woke up this morning with "will-I-or-won't-I" going through my head.

(Before I go on, may I just say I would much rather wake up with nothing in my head, or with something pleasant in my head, but waking up with "will I get on the scale or not" in my head is just WRONG.)

As both of you regular readers know, this past weekend included three-too-many restaurant meals, and none of them were good choices. I neglected to tell you that our Saturday lunch with family was at a – get ready – Mexican restaurant! (Not the whole, fresh, fabulous venue I'd assumed my daughter-in-law would choose.) My least favorite cuisine (dieting or not) for two consecutive meals (because I skipped Saturday's breakfast).

We also had a restaurant meal on the way home, and by that time I was tired and in one of those who-gives-a-rat's-ass moods anyway, so it was fast food all the way.

Which explains why I've felt so bad the last couple of days. It hit me this morning, after digesting the comments, that the only allergy I really have is to processed food. I ate far too much salty fried CRAP. Even choosing a salad for Saturday's lunch didn't make up for the damage from the sweet potato fries someone ordered as an appetizer for the whole table. And don't even talk to me about chips and salsa.

So anyway. To sum up: I could have eaten better and I know it. It's not the first time and it won't be the last. Knowing the relationship I have with my scale, I debated about assessing the damage.

In the end, I decided to go for it, because that number is information, not judgement. RIGHT? Also, my wedding ring has been very slippy-slidy lately (my favorite non-scale weight-loss indicator) and my workouts have been pretty consistent. I'm doing things right most of the time, even meals, when you consider that three out of an entire week adds up to a cheat day. Except I spread mine out over two days.

Ten weeks into the year and nine since I started South Beach, and I stayed the same as last week. Eight pounds in 10 weeks. I'm certainly not the poster child for Dr. Agaston's plan, but I'm okay with this week's result. Staying the same feels like a huge victory to me.

It also makes me think I'm boring and shallow for spending so much time thinking, worrying and writing about whether I should get on the effing scale or not. Aren't you glad I limit this kind of silly talk to Tuesdays? Heh.

If I only had …

The characters in The Wizard of Oz knew their limitations and got just what they needed when they entered the Emerald City: courage, a brain, a heart.

All of the situations, issues and problems which are nearly crushing me these days would be less crushing if only I had more energy. I'm beginning to wonder if there's some kind of deficiency going on beneath the surface. 

I spent most of yesterday recovering from the previous day's eight-hour drive and visit with the youngest grandchildren. It shouldn't take a day to do that. It was such a beautiful day, the perfect day for pulling a few weeds, taking a walk, just being outdoors.

I'll give myself a little credit for laundering the bed linens. It was warm and sunny so I put the sheets out on the clothesline to dry. Boy, did I ever appreciate that extra effort when I went to sleep last night! The only other "work" I did yesterday was cutting back the dead asparagus fronds and frying eggs for my husband's dinner. I wasn't hungry enough to eat (which, in and of itself, is kinda weird, because normally I don't even need to be hungry to eat).

So what did I do to fill up the 23 hours of March 11, 2012? Called my sister to wish her a happy birthday. Called two other friends and left messages. Wrote a couple of e-mails, took a couple of pictures, made a couple pots of coffee. And sat on my ass playing computer solitaire.

Because when life gets to be too hard, too much, too draining, solitaire has always come to my rescue. If there are cards (or computers) in the Emerald City, I'm booking a trip.

So, so tired

Four toddlers will do that to you.

About an hour ago I started to perk up a little bit, so I went out to cut back the asparagus to make room for the new stuff which should be popping up soon. Imagine my surprise when I found this!

 And this!

It was April before we ate the first stalks last year.

The daffs are doing well, and the sedum looks great. I planted tons of creeping sedum last year and it's all come back. The lilacs are budding out, as are the apple trees and the redbud I planted in memory of my dad.

In other words, spring isn't tired at all! Yay!

It is what it is

You can't clean your plate at a Mexican restaurant and expect to see good results from the scale the following morning.

Also? If you're me, you can't not step on the scale, no matter how much you said you wouldn't.

That number is information only, reflecting one highly salted and, truth be told, not very delicious meal. The company was much better than the carne asada.

I will MOVE ON.

My husband and I are headed out to spend the day with his grandchildren and their parents. Once your children have children, the little ones are the focus of the visit for all the adults. We old folks want to play with and read to and delight in the little ones' antics, while the middle generation beams with pride and the babes love showing off for all of us.

We can't wait.

We're taking them out for lunch, and I'm sure the restaurant choice will be more healthful than was last night's. Their mama is very tuned in to fresh, whole, organic food, and we've always been well-fed when she picks the restaurant.

It will be a long day, with plenty o'road time. I'm planning to, hopefully, gracefully, go with the flow. It's something I've been working on lately. The family drama and water issues have been good practice.

Oh, and we're leaving in 35 minutes and I haven't even showered yet. Gotta run!

Workin' for a living

I worked yesterday. I mean really worked, at the greenhouse, moving tiny petunia plants from plugs to flats filled with larger pots, then moving the flats to protected benches in another greenhouse. Standing, bending, lifting, walking, carrying … happy!

The view through the greenhouse window looks out on a storage shed.
Oh, and I'm having fun with Photoshop Actions, too. Heh.

I wasn't there long, maybe four hours total. But it was certainly enough to get my mind off my troubles and put a nice ache in my shoulders. Just what I needed.

The really real part-time job begins in April, but I love doing production and said I'd be happy to help out until the garden center opens for the season. I also love the opportunity to get out of my own head for a few hours.

On tap for today: Laundry, a gym workout, cleaning the house, dinner out at a Mexican place. Not sure how that will work for South Beach but I've decided to follow Gingerzingi's lead – eat now and complain later. The couple we're meeting chose the venue, and since restaurants are few and far between in the Middle of Nowhere, I'm just going with the flow.

Which is probably a good way to live the rest of my crazy-assed life, as well.

My heart hurts

Not literally, of course, or I'd be in the hospital and I'm not sure our hospital has wi-fi.

Without going into a lot of detail, one of the situations which is weighing heavily upon me (and yes, I know the South Beach lackluster results fit perfectly here!) is that someone I'm close to has hurt me.

She's going through a tough time right now. She doesn't have all the facts. She lashed out at me, I've accepted responsibility and apologized and I haven't heard a word since.

This is so reminiscent of the friendship that was lost a year ago. Except last year I was so speechless and I really had nothing to apologize for. This time I did.

This is a time to chant to myself: WWCD, WWCD, WWCD. "C" was my AA sponsor, who died last May. She would tell me that this person is going through a tough time and doesn't have all the facts. She would tell me I've done what I was supposed to do. She would tell me to Let It Go.

So I will.

Wiki Waterleaks

I would love for life to just even out for a while. Each individual issue my husband and I are dealing with would be manageable on its own, but there are so many piled atop one another that we find ourselves wanting to sell everything and run away.

That water drop should be a dollar sign.

Unfortunately, the issues are not appropriate blog fodder. Except, maybe, the water.

We have spent So. Much. Money. making sure water is both potable and available here in the Middle of Nowhere. In addition to money, it has cost me a friendship, which ended almost exactly a year ago.

Our water pump is located nearly half a mile from our house, down a steep hill or mini mountain, take your pick, in a cow pasture. You have to duck under an electric fence to get to the meter.

The bill for said meter has always been less than $10 a month. This month it was more than $200.

Houston, we have a problem. If the pump is running that much, there must be a leak, right?

The thing is, usually when we have a leak there's some evidence of it, and the evidence has always been low water pressure. The pressure has been fine, so we didn't suspect a thing.

The power company has tested the meter which, of course, is fine. The man who has been our water expert for the past three or four years came yesterday and ruled out all the dire possibilities. He temporarily adjusted a pressure switch which finally got the pump to shut off. But the key word here is "temporarily." There's still a leak, somewhere along the line, and we have to wait for it to show up above ground. After which there will be equipment and mud and lack of water until repairs are made.

Oh, the joy and anticipation.

Wars have been fought over water. If your water works, you can add one more blessing to your day.