Pride, gratitude and compassion

When this headline

The Only Way to Keep Your Resolutions

pops up as you're contemplating how to create a new you in the new year, how can you not click it? I couldn't.

And it turned out to be an interesting piece, one I'll reread as I approach my start date.

Which I still haven't determined.

In the time between now and Day One of Whole 30 I don't intend to pig out or go whole hog eating unhealthy food. (Pigs don't get much respect when it comes to idioms, do they?) I don't do that normally, so there's no need to begin now.

When faced with tempting food, I've been able, over many years, to learn to remind myself that it will be there later. Or I can always get more. Which may or may not be true, depending on the situation. I don't anticipate staring down a once-in-a-lifetime food choice, however. Eating food that might derail my plan, however, can be postponed.

I guess I started using this mind trick during the first Whole 30. I'm not sure, but it would make sense to tell myself then that the end date is coming and I could wait for whatever it is I thought I wanted.

Looking back, I was applying these emotions – pride, gratitude, and compassion – to myself. And it worked. 

Today will be one of those days where food choices are out of my control and my time will not my own. But while I'm in a dentist's reception area, waiting for a denture to be repaired, I can begin reading one of those Kindle books I said I wanted to read. (I added a bunch of them to my Goodreads account. Now I need to remember to use Goodreads to monitor my progress.)

Yesterday I used the treadmill. For an hour. Which was the only way I was going to get 10,000 steps, which is the only way I'm going to eventually get 1500 miles. I may not be able to get on the treadmill today at all, or it may happen this evening. It's going to be that kind of day. Either way, I'm going to have some compassion for myself on a stressful day (keeping in mind that having a denture repaired is, truly, pretty low on the stress scale), and gratitude that I have choices about when, how, and even whether I fit a workout in today.

It won't be the end of the world if I don't. 

Thanks for reading. 

Be kind.

Eleven

My first blog post, on my old blog, happened January 10, 2006. I've now been a blogger for 11 years, and if you look at the photo posted then, I honestly don't look a whole lot different now.

So that's depressing!

Possibly I need to accept that brief periods of normal weight will happen occasionally, but that I'm destined to carry extra poundage until I've taken my last breath. Possibly.

Actually, I'll keep trying and I'll keep posting and I'll keep trying to figure it out.

But seriously … in 11 years I haven't figured it out yet? Sheesh.

Anyway, if you've been here from the beginning (and I think a couple of you have), thanks. You've witnessed three marriages (mine, my son's, and my husband's son's), the births of five of our grandchildren, and the death of my father.

You've been patient as I natter on about food and workouts and half-marathon training (those were the days!) and politics and society and gardening and knitting and the weather. Boy oh boy, have we had some weather.

I'm grateful for you, for your patience, for your friendship … and I'm truly grateful for technology, which has expanded my world immeasurably and wonderfully.

Thank you.

Three …

Three weeks from today I'll be prepping for the hip surgery. I have a few thoughts this week between holidays …

• I'm grateful that what's wrong with me can be fixed. 
• I'm grateful for a financial cushion which makes the expenses for this procedure possible.
• I'm grateful for the Affordable Care Act. Although insurance companies are still making a profit from human illness (which I think is wrong), my expenses for this procedure are not out of reach.
• I'm grateful for the ability – still – to clean my house, cook food, do laundry. All of these things take more time than they used to, so …
• I'm grateful for patience and willingness to work with what I have, instead of feeling frustrated about my loss of mobility.

I also have a few wishes:

• I wish everyone who is in pain would find relief.
• I wish everyone facing surgery has a successful outcome.
• I wish everyone who has a much more serious illness or condition will find comfort and peace.

I'm so lucky. Generally I dismiss people who say "it could be worse," because each person's situation is unique to them.

But … it could be worse.

Looking ahead to next weekend, my friend Vickie and I have come up with a Leap Year Photo Challenge. She did all the prompts and created the website. I did the graphics. We're a team!

If you found a camera under the Christmas tree, or if your new phone's camera is still a mystery, we invite you to join the fun!

And with that … I'm having a new kitchen faucet and garbage disposal installed today. Whatever I need to do that requires water needs to be done prior to the start of the project. So I'd better get moving!

Slowly …

Half-full

So with the heat problem we're experiencing here in Ye Old Middle of Nowhere, you'd think – nay, you'd expect – some grumbling, right? (See yesterday's post if you're not aware of our issue.)

But that hasn't happened. In fact, the most grumbling so far has been from me, listening to the furnace run constantly, in a futile effort to keep the air warm.

Yesterday I got tired of listening to myself and adjusted the thermostat downward until the fan stopped running. The inside temperature has remained at about 60° ever since. With wool slippers and layered clothing, we're not uncomfortable at all.

My mood almost instantly changed from mumbly-grumbly to A-OK.

Granted I went to bed early, because, um, blankets! But really? I've not found anything to complain about since that constant fan noise stopped.

• We're fortunate to have the money to have paid for that weekend service call.
• We plan to check on our homeowner's insurance, which could possibly cover part of the replacement expense.
• If it doesn't, the emergency fund is ready and available to handle the cost of a new compressor.
• We have a working oven, which did a masterful job yesterday. We were quite toasty filling our bellies with food which had slow-roasted all afternoon.
• We have a working automobile. With a heater. Which we will use today to shop for another source of auxiliary heat.

What's the common thread in all those bulleted items?

Gratitude.

And along comes science (well, Google science, anyway) to prove that I'm a happier woman because I'm looking for and listing the things I'm thankful for.

I've been doing that fairly regularly for the past 24 years – having an attitude of gratitude is a benchmark of sobriety. I'm not perfect. I still gripe and moan, and I still have wishes and wants. But finding and recognizing what I do have helps me ignore the things I don't.

Pretty soon I'm going to mix up a batch of paleo pumpkin muffins. I'll pop them in my working oven and you can bet I'll be grateful when I eat them for breakfast!

What are you thankful for? And, especially in the face of trials and tribulations and challenges … what's on your gratitude list?

2500 problems but this blog ain't one

A milestone: This is my 2500th post here at KRRE, which came alive in mid-May of 2008.

I had abandoned the Shrinking Knitter a couple weeks earlier, for personal reasons, after not quite 700 posts. I started blogging January 10, 2006. Anyone still here who remembers those days?

Y'all have been through a lot with me, there and here. After a very long courtship, my husband and I were married, and we've had five grandchildren since I began SK. I don't share much about the little ones, because I think it's important to protect their privacy.

And the blog is not, after all, about them.

Most of my posts are weight-loss-, fitness- or health-related. When I began gardening in earnest, a friend suggested changing the name from Knit Run Repeat to Knit Run Reap Eat, a great improvement and one that covered all the bases.

The new base, the one that isn't covered, is liberal politics, but I've learned that no one really minds if I head off on a tangent. I'm not forcing you to read anything here, after all. You've invited yourself, and I'm happy to have you, but you're always free to move on. I don't even know, not being one to check stats or care much about traffic.

For all these bloggy years, I've been writing for me. To hold myself accountable. To remember and mark important occasions. The blog is a diary, a calendar, a sounding board, a record-keeper, a photo album.

And no matter how long you've been reading – eight years or eight days or eight hours – I'm glad you're here. I love your comments, though there are far fewer these days than there've been in the past. I'm guilty of not leaving many comments on others' blogs, too. We all get busy. Heck, I've got 400-plus unread posts in Feedly right now.

That's what being a busy Democrat during an election cycle will do to your free time.

I don't knit as much as I used to. I've switched from running to walking. This year's garden was dismal (except for the squash, I have PLENTY O'SQUASH!), and the eating has morphed into a paleo template.

I've finally lost a lot of weight and have kept most of it off for more than a year now. I'd like to be thinner and more fit, and that will definitely continue to be a focus going forward.

Because 2500 posts isn't the end. I thought about it. I'm super busy and blogging sometimes feels like a job. But when I need to remember something that happened that's just out of reach in my brain, all I have to do is search the blog[s] and invariably I find what I'm looking for.

As long as blogging is rewarding and useful, I'll keep writing.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. I added a new tab at the top – click to see some of what's been keeping me so busy this summer!

Thank you, Facebook. Just … thank you.

This post has been churning in my brain for a few days. Time to let it out, I guess.

I am a social media junkie. Not Twitter so much, although I do have and use my account. But don't take away my Instagram, Pinterest, Blogger or Facebook, please.

Especially Facebook.

As both of you know, I live in the Middle of Nowhere. And if you know me in real life, you know I'm not kidding. Twelve miles to the nearest Tiny Kroger. Forty-five miles to a somewhat adequate mall. An hour to Sam's Club and it takes 90 minutes and crossing the state line to shop at Target.

Being so isolated took a real toll on me when I first moved here, 17 years ago. I'd lived in Columbus, Ohio, near many shopping and recreational and entertainment opportunities. I was plugged in to a social and support network that met all my needs and allowed me to give back.

And then I met a guy. A very nice guy, who also lived in Ohio but who was originally from southern West Virginia. And one day he moved back home. As guys do. And we did the long-distance thing. As couples do. And then he asked me to sell my house and quit my job and follow him to the Middle of Nowhere.

And I did. As girls do.

Many years after I moved here, he asked me to marry him and I said yes and we'll be celebrating our 8th wedding anniversary next week.

But we've known each other for 21 years and I've lived here in the Middle of Nowhere for 17 of them. Time flies.

I had a hard time making friends here. I just couldn't find women my age who weren't already plugged in to their groups of friends. I didn't really try very hard. I stayed connected to old friends with email. I redecorated our house. I bought a lot of yarn. I started volunteering.

And one day I found Facebook.

I was not an early adapter. Facebook launched in February of 2004. I joined October 26, 2008 (but my first post, oddly wasn't until November of 2009). Less than two weeks after joining, Barack Obama would be elected President of the United States. I worked on his campaign here in southern West Virginia and met some great people. I give the President all the credit for my finding friends, finally, more than a decade after I moved here.

Maybe some of those friends were already on Facebook, although I kind of doubt it. I don't know why I took that plunge. But I'm really glad I did.

The internet had been keeping me connected to long-distance friends, but not in the same way Facebook does. There were these things called "forums" and "listservs" and, of course, I emailed a lot. I started blogging in 2006. (Good lord, have I been spouting drivel for eight years now? I guess I have.)

But Facebook is up-to-the-minute and, with a smartphone and a data plan, always available.

When I joined Facebook, I had two grandchildren. Now I have seven.

When I joined Facebook, I had a few real-life friends and a few more long-distance ones. Now I have hundreds, and some of those virtual friends are also real-life, up-close-and-personal ones.

I've been accused of being too plugged in, mostly by those who live in cities and work with people and have a lot more social opportunities than I do. Or, conversely, by the less tech-savvy who just aren't interested in an online presence and don't think anyone else should have one either. (Pardon the snark.)

My level of plugged-in-ness feels just right to me. I'm engaged, informed and involved in a way that just wasn't possible without Facebook. I've gone from being a shy, backward, inward-facing loner to a somewhat more outgoing and certainly less awkward joiner.

I take and post photos from my almost-daily walks, and my Facebook friends tell me they really look forward to those views of my Middle of Nowhere. I love that they like going on my walks with me, even if they do so virtually.

I was elected to a position at the state level of a group I've belonged to since President Obama was Candidate Obama. I was on the local ballot this spring and won my election. I've met all kinds of important people and learned that they think I'm pretty important, too.

The icing on the cake was getting ready for that high-school reunion. The planning committee had a presence on Facebook and I could see who was registering and look forward in a very real way to the weekend. I reconnected with classmates I hadn't seen or even thought of in years – decades, even. What a blessing it's been!

So say what you will about Facebook – how they change things and there's no privacy and it's a time-suck and whatever. I'm sticking with it, gratefully.

After all is said and done, it is, after all, free. And for once, I'm getting way more than I paid for.

Grateful for YOU

Thank you for your kind words the past few days. It's been a rough, rough week.

With a couple more in store. Not, thankfully, because of funerals but because of a family reunion and a little weekend getaway. No matter how much fun such events and excursions can be, there's still a lot of planning and preparation to make them happen.

Fortunately the reunion isn't at my house, but at a state park nearby. No one has to make mountains of food and the park offers plenty of recreational activities for those who want it – hiking, golf, horseback riding, an indoor pool, etc. We should have rented a cabin for the weekend, but honestly didn't even consider it. Now we're looking at three days of 70-mile round trips to get there.

Throw my birthday in there, too. The fun never stops.

The trip will be the annual one to the Nash, to watch my older two grandchildren perform in their spring recital. Can't wait for that!

And then it's full-on summer … I hope to do a little garden work every day, instead of a lot once or twice a day. Except on mowing days, of course. Since mowing takes a good three hours, I consider that ENOUGH yard work for any day.

Skipping last Thursday's walk didn't hurt too much, but this week's miles were down quite a bit from the past month. Still … I'm not changing the mileage goal just yet. Two hundred twenty-seven days left this year. If I can average five per day I'll not only make it to 1500, I'll smash it! But being nearly a third of the way there and way more than a third of the way into the year doesn't exactly bode well.

As the young folk say … it is what it is.

Thank you again for your kind comments and warm thoughts. I do appreciate it.

Kill. Me. Now.

I realize spring doesn't officially begin for another four days. But seriously? Really? We could get six inches of snow or more between this afternoon and tomorrow morning. REALLY?

Arghhhh.

Since this weather madness isn't supposed to hit us until late this afternoon, and since the temperature will be in the balmy mid-40s later this morning, I plan to get outside for a walk then. Maybe even a walk/run. Vickie suggested stepping up the pace a bit, and that has been somewhat effective in kickstarting my metabolism. Sometimes. Maybe everyone's, but I can only speak for me. And, obviously, I can't count on it. Since I really can't count on anything weight-loss related working consistently for me.

My calendar for the upcoming week is full to overflowing:

Monday we'll be snowed in, most likely, so delivering the elliptical may not happen. We're donating it to an auction which will raise funds for the local Animal Welfare Control Project. If it doesn't make it to the venue on time, they'll just sell it via a photograph and the winning bidder can come pick it up.

Then there's this:

Natalie Tennant is West Virginia's Secretary of State and – oh, how we hope – our next U.S. Senator. TRDW is my shorthand for our local Democratic women's club and stands for Three Rivers Democratic Women. The reception on the 20th is to honor a family friend who holds a high-level position in the Obama administration.

Pretty heady stuff.

(The words highlighted in pink are my photo prompts for those days.)

I'm also heading to North Carolina Friday for a long weekend visit with my son and his family.

So. BUSY! But that's okay. Weeks like this seldom happen and all I have to do is take it one day at a time. I'm ever so grateful to have stuck to the plan and lost all that weight, as in the process I've gained enough energy and self-confidence that I know I can handle these upcoming events. I can only imagine how paralyzed I might have been a year ago.

The Tuesday meeting with my Congressman was arranged upon my initiative – I can guarantee you that wouldn't have happened last year.

And I don't mean for this to be an oh-look-at-me-I'm-so-important post. I really want it to be an oh-wow-I'm-so-grateful-to-be-able-to-do-all-this post. I'm not bragging, honest! I almost didn't put it all out here. But I want to remember it, and I guess I'm hoping that neither of you will mind.

What a difference a day makes

It's no big secret that I've been struggling emotionally this winter. I put on a happy face, most of the time, but there've been days when that just hasn't been possible. I've never been so affected by cold, grey days as I have this year.

The good thing is I know I'm not alone.

And the good thing also is:

• I'm not ill (our patient was released yesterday and we are very encouraged by her rapid recovery – IV anitbiotics are miracle drugs)
• My house hasn't burned to the ground (as happened to a friend right around New Year's) and
• We have enough savings to replace the dead refrigerator (even though we hadn't planned for a new major appliance purchase this year)

We had a couple hours to kill prior to the hospital discharge yesterday, and began our walk here at home. It was far too icy to even get down the driveway, so we drove to town and walked there, a little more than four miles! Oh, my, was that ever good for the soul.

The robins are fat and sassy and everywhere. They don't migrate south from our part of the state, but they surely do go into hiding when it's cold. It was wonderful seeing tree after tree along the river dotted with red-breasted robins. I tried to get a picture but they were camera-shy, and flew away upon my approach.

I have an appointment this morning, after which I hope to get a very long walk in – trying to make up that mileage – and then we'll be going refrigerator-shopping and out for dinner.

Another good thing? I lost a pound this week. Must be all that running up and down stairs to get to the tiny refrigerator on the second floor of the garage.

I hope, if you're as tired of winter as I am, that you also are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. And that the tunnel isn't carved of snow drifts!

We've come to the end of another NaBloPoMo

Third one for me. And what started three years ago as a one-month experiment has turned into the almost-daily drivel both of you look forward to! Who woulda thunk it?

I am TOO OLD to drive to North Carolina one day and come back home the next day. What's worse is making the drive all in one day, which is what's going to happen a couple weeks from tomorrow, when we visit my husband's son and his family. But that trip will be about an hour shorter each war than Thursday/Friday's was.

Ahhh, but it was so worth it to be with BOTH my children (and my son's family) at the same time. That happens so rarely that I would do it again tomorrow if I had to. Even though I am TOO OLD.

Dinner was lovely and delicious and absolutely not on plan, except the turkey. Seriously, every side dish was sauced or sugared, but I had decided going in that I wasn't going to make a big deal out of one meal.

Russ and Jeff used to say, it doesn't matter what you eat between Christmas and New Year's, it matters what you eat between New Year's and Christmas. I adapted that philosophy to include Thanksgiving dinner. 'Cause I went right back to clean eating and whole foods the first chance I got.

Also? My husband and I don't do a lot of partying or entertaining or socializing during the holidays. We're both retired, we live in the Middle of Nowhere, we traditionally go to one open house on Christmas Eve and we save our party hosting for election season. That's just how we roll.

Which makes navigating the holiday food land mine somewhat easier.

Now that I think about it, though, I have to go to a dinner on December 2nd and a luncheon on December 8th. But here's the thing: I'm not going to be so rigid and uptight about what's on my plate that I'm going to let it ruin my peace and serenity. Thanks again, Jen, for planting that seed.

And so, another November comes to an end. Today will be full of football and knitting. I came home with requests for hand knit knee socks for my older granddaughter and for another pair of felted clogs for my daughter-in-law. (I love that she loves them so much she doesn't want any other kind of slipper!) First, though are the triplets' toy dinosaurs – nearly done – and their little sister's Hello Kitty, which won't take long.

If you played along with NaBloPoMo, congratulations for finished the month! And I hope you'll keep it up for another and another and another. Daily writing has been therapeutic and restorative for me, most of the time. Sometimes I feel a little pressure, but not often. I didn't do as well this year as I have previously, which is why some posts were just photos and captions, but hey. WHO'S COUNTING? Heh.

I hope your Thanksgiving was as wonderful as mine was. Gratitude is a daily thing for me, thanks to AA. Thanksgiving was just the whipped cream on top.

It's gratitude week!

Thank you, Jen, for reminding me that, yes, I have come a long way and have much to celebrate. Had I not gotten so cocky when the pounds were melting away last summer, I'd be happy as a kid in a candy store.

To use a not-so-paleo-friendly metaphor. Heh.

Because if I hadn't gotten so cocky, I'd be BELOW my original goal.

My weight was back up again this morning, 1.5 pounds: the largest weekly gain I've had all year. HOWEVER – I'm down 1.5 pounds for the month of November. After a stay-the-same October, I'll take that loss, thankyouverymuch. And I still have another week to add to that small loss. You know, the week with the biggest food day of the year in it.

Sigh.

Last Thursday, though, when I weighed myself after our trip – which was all restaurant meals, all the time – I was way down. Like less than 10 pounds from goal down.

So I'm struggling with the gratitude thing this morning. Maybe it would help if I made a list.

• Finding a way to eat that works for me has been HUGE!
• I've had little to no pain since April, when I eliminated grains, legumes, dairy and sugar.
• I've had very few cravings for grains, legumes, dairy or sugar.
• Right this second, as I'm typing, I'm watching the. most. amazing. sunrise. Gotta be grateful for Mother Nature. (We won't talk about what a red sky in the morning means.)
  
• I've lost 53 pounds this year. Also HUGE!
• My clothes fit well and are comfortable. (And I'm having lots o'fun adding to my wardrobe.)
• I no longer spend my days in yoga pants and my evenings in pajama pants and t-shirts.
• Bloodwork is normal. YAY!
• I get to eat bacon every damned day, if I want to.

Seriously? Could I have it any better? I THINK NOT. Thank you, Jen, for helping a girl out of the blahs and into an attitude of gratitude. It's difficult to give myself credit for a job well done when the job isn't done yet. But I'm well on my way.

Here it comes …

The weather outside is getting frightful. It's not like it doesn't do this every year. West Virginia does have four seasons, after all. But it sure looks like today's the day to walk outside, and the rest of the week I'll be dreadmilling and ellipticalling and maybe even rowing, oh my. (If I get the rowing machine fixed. Not saying I will, but ONE NEVER KNOWS.)

I'm finally beginning to think about the holidays. Retailers have been thinking about them since Halloween, but I'm lagging a bit. And I'm less enthusiastic then I usually am. Which is to say not very. My Christmas present to me was to have been reaching my goal weight, a quest which began last December 26. It's not going to happen without some kind of Christmas miracle.

I'm happy to be where I am, though, which is more than 50 pounds lighter than a year ago at this time. Gotta keep that attitude of gratitude, always, obviously, but especially as the holidays approach.

I'm grateful to have found a way of eating that has, so far, worked to stabilize my weight and keep me feeling satisfied. I don't feel like I'm missing anything. And honestly? If I wanted to eat something off-limits, i.e., grain- or dairy- or legume- or sugar-based, it wouldn't kill me. I've been eating those foods all my life and I'm still here, 62-1/2 years later. But I'd still probably pass, because I don't want to feel bad.

I might be the biggest chicken in the paleo coop. After doing a Whole 30, you're supposed to reintroduce one of those four food groups to determine your reaction. I'm of the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" camp and have pretty much stayed the course, save for a couple of special occasions. I haven't been on a strict Whole 30 all this time, but I've been a pretty strict paleo eater since April.

And even though this post might not sound like it, I've never been happier, or sassier, in my life. I only wish I'd started sooner.

However, as my late mother used to say, "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride." Wishing things were different doesn't make them different.

But it reinforces that I need to keep on doing what I've been doing, if I want similar results.

Pretty simple.

Unlike holiday shopping. Sigh.

Another Monday …

As I predicted, I wasn't able to hold onto the magic number. But today's official weigh-in was only a half pound more than the one I saw last week. Meaning I'm 10.5 pounds from goal, 1.6 points from a normal BMI and oh-so-close to …

maintenance.

When you read blog posts written by people who've lost a lot of weight and kept it off, you get the idea that maintaining that loss is a matter of daily diligence. For them and for me, there's no done.

I've lost a significant amount of weight before. Twice before, as a matter of fact, followed by days/months/years of gaining it all back and then some. Should I ever think I'm different or special or unique in this regard, all I need to do is read a few blogs by those who have been there/done that. They're not hard to find.

Harder to find are those who've hit the magic number and stayed there. Usually they, too, have lost and gained and lost and gained. But then, somehow, they found the set of behaviors they needed to lose and NOT gain.

That's my quest. And it's not too early to begin thinking about it. Because I FOR SURE don't want to lather, rinse, repeat this year. (Although it has been pretty fun.)

I can be my own good example by framing my weight loss in terms of continuing to do a few simple-but-not-easy things, just as I do to stay sober. I've thought about treating weight loss as I do alcoholism, but always fell into the "you don't have to drink but you DO have to eat" trap.

Yes, I do have to eat. But I don't have to eat everything. And there are some things I shouldn't eat at all. This science experiment will never be over.

On that last point … I can never be grateful enough for the guidance and example of two women (they know who they are) who encouraged me to try something new without being pushy about it. They were willing to wait for me to have my own "I could have had a V-8" moment. Gingerzingi also is part of that group, with the added bonus of pointing out that, yes, actually, we are our own science experiments and it's better to embrace that idea, rather than fight it.

I was feeling pretty hopeless in October. It's only taken three lost pounds this month to give me the motivation to keep at it, and the confidence to know I can make it.

Yes, I can.

New challenge. And a dose of gratitude.

So I managed to walk/jog/run 130 miles in July, which helped me hit that 700-mile mark for the year. What better way to celebrate August than to go for 150? That's only 4.838 miles a day – let's just call it five, shall we?

We'll be going on a short trip later in the month, but I'm pretty sure we'll be able to manage a couple fitness walks among the other touristy walking we plan to do. If I throw a couple six-milers in each week, that should take care of an unplanned rest day.

But since I'm streaking (18 straight days so far), I'm not planning on having any unplanned rest days, either.

I was sitting somewhere yesterday – can't remember if it was in the car or in a chair – and felt a little itchy right between my shoulder blades. So I scratched that spot, and then realized that was something I didn't used to be able to do. It had more to do with shoulder pain than mobility, but 40 pounds ago I had to ask for help. 

When I get down to brass tacks, I think not wanting to ask for help – not wanting to need help – pushed me to try Whole30. I seriously did not want Velcro sneakers, but I was seriously having trouble lacing up my Brooks Adrenalines.

Like most women my age (62), I'd like to look as young as possible for as long as possible. I've been blessed with youthful genes. Most people are surprised to learn I'm in my 60s. But more than not looking my age, I don't want to feel my age. Here in southern West Virginia, 60-year-olds use walkers and ride scooter chairs in the grocery. They tote portable oxygen tanks with them wherever they go.

Some of the health problems in the aging population here are due to work conditions. Retired miners have lung problems, and retired loggers have been injured on the job. But far more age-related health issues are due to lifestyle.

West Virginia's obesity rate is third in the country, behind Louisiana and Mississippi. Thanks in part to the pepperoni roll. The  gooey, doughy, cheesy West Virginia concoction came out on top this year in a national competition of favorite state snack foods. (Our local Amish neighbors have learned how to make them; only glazed donuts are a bigger seller at the bakery.)

West Virginians smoke. A lot (we're 9th in the country).

It's difficult for the average Joe or Jane to get out and walk, particularly in hilly, rural areas which don't have sidewalks and do have one-lane roads. 

My mother, her mother and my father were very good examples of how I don't want to age. All were obese, all smoked, all died due in large part to health conditions which could have been prevented.

I'm glad I've finally found a way to get and stay fit and active.

Oh, and to scratch my own back, too.

Wasted time.

Or waisted time, maybe.

I just found the program I used in 2012 to track my food and weight-loss progress. I weighed essentially the same in January 2012 as I did this January. By July 2012 I'd lost 11 pounds. By December I'd gained 12.

After several months of beating my head against a brick wall, I obviously quit whatever I was doing (South Beach, I think) and ate whatever I wanted, reversing the s-l-o-w downward trend and eventually reaching a new high. (My stopping also coincided with the derecho and the nine days without electricity after it hit. Nothing like a little comfort food to get you through a crisis.)

No time is wasted, really, as long as you're willing to learn from the experience.

What have I learned so far? Some of the same stuff I've heard (and said) so many times in AA:

• I must remain teachable.
• I don't know it all. 
• When the student is ready, the teacher appears.

The difference this year is that instead of quitting, I tried something new. My teachers (three altogether) showed up at precisely the moment I was ready to learn. Two of them had been there, waiting patiently, for quite a while. The third came much later. And just in time.

Another thing we talk a lot about in AA is gratitude. Wow, am I grateful for an open mind and lots of support.

And a freezer full of grass-fed beef. Heh.

P.S. Heading out for a walk. As of today, I'm averaging 3.02 miles per day and am well on my way to hitting my 1000-mile goal for the year. YAY, ME!

Much, MUCH better

My husband only checked my blood pressure/heart rate twice yesterday. He seemed satisfied when all the numbers were where he thought they should be.

I worked at the garden center in the morning, then came home to do laundry, mow the front yard and fix dinner. I'd say that's as normal as it gets. I didn't get through the seed inventory. YET.

Jen, we thought about a medication issue, but the only one I take is Lasix and I don't take it every day. The last time I took it was Sunday. And I eat a banana or an orange every day, so my potassium levels are probably good. The blood work appointment is a week from today … we shall see. (Jen just posted a great review of Jen Larsen's [aka Anne of Elastic Waist] new book Stranger Here. Lots of great insights about body image related to weight loss, among other things.)

Gingerzingi thinks I'm pregnant. HAH! What a disaster that would be! I can't even imagine it. But thanks, G, for your congratulations.

You are all so kind and caring and thoughtful. Thanks. Just … thanks.

On tap for today is more of the same. Work in the morning, mow the back yard in the afternoon, more laundry. My husband is fixing dinner tonight (yay for him!).

Have you noticed the dearth of walk reports this week? Yeah, me, too. This may turn out to be the shortest mileage week of the year. We're traveling and visiting family (the triplets are turning FIVE!) all day Saturday, so no opportunity there. Then again, if I can knock out six miles both Friday and Sunday, I'll have a decent week. I'd hoped to step it up a bit during DietBet, but maybe it's best to just keep life as normal as possible.

The sky is so pretty this morning I don't know which direction to point the camera. I picked this one, finally, because it has those beautiful sky-blue-pink clouds my mother always loved. Have a good day, friends. I'm grateful for all of you.

Good morning, good morning, good morning, YEAH!

One foot in front of the other

Having and following a routine, a plan, a course of action is helpful when life gets, um, discouraging.

Things didn't work out well at the dentist yesterday because I didn't go to the dentist, as I had planned. Because he wasn't in. Which means the new appliance I wanted to have in place prior to an upcoming weekend getaway? Well, it's not going to be here.

I could have cried.

And the car? Remember the car that hit the deer nearly three weeks ago? It's apparently missing just one hose that was supposed to have been delivered yesterday BUT THE EMPLOYEE WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO PUT IT ON THE TRUCK FORGOT TO DO IT. The truck shows up at the auto-repair place with goodies for all the other jobs except ours.

You can't help but wonder about the efficiency, or lack thereof, in the modern workplace. I know I'm going to sound like an old curmudgeon, but back when I was working if something went wrong we fixed it.

I was an ad designer for a newspaper. We had deadlines. WHICH WE MET. I mentioned my schedule to my dentist last time I was in and he, I thought, made a note of it. And then he decided to take Thursday off. They're not open on Friday. My deadline for the procedure that needed to happen in order to be comfortable going on this trip was … yesterday. Thursday.

There's nothing to do but live with it, but I can live with it angry. For a while, anyway.

At the newspaper, the ad designers were the next-to-last ones in the office on deadline day. The client was king, and if the client didn't provide copy to the sales rep until the last minute, we ad designers were the ones who stayed late and finished it up and got it to the page designers so the paper could get printed and delivered on time. I don't think I ever, not once, clocked out on time on deadline day.

And the car? Well, back in the day, an ad designer occasionally had to drive to the client to pick up copy when the sales rep was tied up trying to get copy from another client. Or out with a sick child. Or sick themselves. You do what you have to do to keep the client happy and to make deadline.

The part needed for the car is in a warehouse in a city two hours away. Someone from that shop could have – should have – driven there to pick it up, bring it back, stick it where it's supposed to go and have that car ready when it was promised. (We have been told it would be ready every day this week. And the initial estimate for completion was February 13.)

I can only imagine what it's like to be an ad designer these days. The ability to transfer images and words electronically surely would speed up the whole process, right? More than likely it's squished those deadlines ever more tightly up against the printer's schedule. Nerve-wracking it would be, certainly.

I shouldn't be complaining. My life is good. I'm sitting in my toasty warm house in front of a fabulous and powerful little gadget dumping all my frustrations on both of you and drinking freshly made coffee from a handmade mug.

I haven't just been rescued from a crippled cruise ship. I'm not recovering from surgery. I'm not ill or injured. I haven't lost someone recently. I've been putting one foot in front of the other for 134 miles this year, and I'll add a couple more to that total today.

I have so much for which to be grateful. It would serve me well to remember what I have, instead of what I have not.

Friday Quote Day (an occasional reprise)

See, don't ever give up! Maybe sometimes you feel like 
a rotting old pile of firewood too, but you are actually 
full of incredible potential underneath. All you need is a 
heavy-duty sanding and some paint, and possibly some 
new handles on your drawers!

~ Lindsey, author of the Better After blog

© 2013 Debora J. McNeer

Lindsey features furniture (and sometimes room) makeovers over at Better After, and I LOVE the way she writes. When she wrote the lines I'm using for today's quote, she wrote them for me. And you, if you're also working toward a tough goal.

The number on the scale this morning was much more realistic than last Friday's. I might even get some work done around here today. (Last Friday I collapsed in a heap and didn't move all day.)

To recap: I stepped on the scale Christmas morning and saw a most horrifying number. My New Year's resolution to get fit, once and for all and I really mean it this time, began the next day. I'm using the LoseIt! app, and following the calorie guidelines there to lose a pound a week. I hope to lose 50 pounds this year.

I wanted my progress to be measured simply by staying within LoseIt's target calories each day and achieving my exercise goals, which are to:

• walk or use the elliptical six days a week
• do a short yoga session twice a week
• do a light weight-lifting session twice a week

I planned to take Mondays off - no counting calories, have a little treat if I want and rest from exercise.

But I also want to know if the plan works for weight loss, so I decided to weigh myself on the 25th of every month. Just once a month, a quick check-in, because I was confident I would be at least one pound down for every week on plan.

Last week's two-pounds-in-a-month result was pretty devastating. I had eaten well below the calorie target each day and had only missed a couple workouts. Both of you suggested eating more. LoseIt! has done the research and knows what it takes, and I was, possibly, sabotaging and/or short-changing myself by creating a deficit each day. I vowed to stay on target and check the scales in a week.

Well, the week is up. I did great from Friday through Monday, staying either slightly below or barely above my daily calories. Tuesday was a tough, tough day and I barely ate anything; I came up short on calories Wednesday and yesterday, as well. I didn't know what to expect this morning.

I've been looking for, working for and hoping for a pound a week. And I got it. Five weeks, five pounds. I don't FOR A MINUTE think I lost three pounds this week. Last week was, as you both pointed out (gently, thank you) a fluke. So this week? Yay for me! Wait, I'm sorry:

YAY FOR ME!

Last Friday I really did feel like a rotting pile of firewood. Or maybe even what lies beneath a rotting pile of firewood. Today I feel (again) like a woman on a mission. Not a life-or-death one (although it may very well be one, I'd rather not know), but simply a let's-get-this-done one. Let's get back to a body that likes to move and doesn't hurt when it has to. Let's get back to enjoying shopping for clothes. Let's get back to being able to do XYZ, rather than making excuses not to.

Thanks for your advice last week, and for your sympathy and empathy and kindness. Thanks for your help. Thanks for coming along for the journey, one pound at a time.

Thanks.

Proof that I CAN put one foot in front of the other

I bet from that title you think I'm going to write about walking. Well, I'm not. I hope to walk outdoors today. It's supposed to be sunny but c-c-cold this afternoon and a friend and I are going to bundle up and and make the effort.

Yesterday morning I cleaned off a tall, heavy, wooden bookshelf that was stored in the garage and carried it from there to the house, installing it in our tiny little TV room. It's kind of overwhelming in there, and it might go back to the garage. However, as I was reaching and stretching to get a pile of notebooks off the tippy top, I strained my neck.

Not a big deal. I've done stuff like that before. But by the time I got the thing moved, I decided to rest, postponing the planned elliptical workout from noon until "later."

Now later could be an hour or two or even a day hence. But here's how I know my plan is working. I didn't want to break the week-long streak. I wanted to keep my commitment to myself more than I wanted to give in to a neck strain.

At 3:05 I was done with the elliptical and moving on to some very gentle yoga poses. I've no illusions about yoga being "exercise" at this point. But I'm making the effort, in the hope that I'll begin feeling the benefits and eventually want to make it a longer and – maybe – more frequent practice.

Today is a short dumbbell workout, along with the walking. Again, not really exercise, in that I don't sweat or grunt or hurt. I just want to get used to lifting something heavier than my morning coffee. All-or-nothing is my usual modus operandi, but that obviously hasn't worked in the past, or I wouldn't be here in the present, beginning anew. WOULD I?

I also think I'll try cutting the lower ribbing off one of my sweatshirts, as Jen suggested. I don't need the side vents, just a straight hem (which should tame the curling, which is what Denise experienced when she chopped the ribbing off one of hers). That experiment would make this day very productive indeed.

Image from http://www.FB.com/TributetoStephenCovey

Finally, I shared this graphic on Facebook this morning, and then snagged the image to post here. (I think if you click it it will get big enough to actually read. Or you can go to my Facebook page, link is in the right sidebar of the blog.) Apologies if you're seeing it twice. No, wait, I take that apology back – if I saw this every day it still wouldn't be enough. I'm going to print it and put it on the inside of the medicine chest.

Much of this "headwork" is stuff I've done before. I even live by some of it (thank you, Alcoholics Anonymous!), especially the second and fifth ones. I still think too much and I could certainly get out of my own way and be more compassionate and empathetic when I see others suffering. None of us is perfect and there's always room for improvement. I see these "rules" more as principles or guidelines or even suggestions which would add some peace and serenity to my sometimes over-emotional life.

It's worth a shot, anyway.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for helping me be accountable. If I hadn't announced my plan here, I might have rested all day yesterday. My neck is fine this morning. Whether you would judge me or not, I appreciate that you're out there, reading this, helping me add another day of success to this new year.

If you want to own an assault weapon …

join the military.

Assault weapon is a political term, often used by gun control advocates, typically referring to firearms "designed for rapidly firing at human targets from close range,"^[1] sometimes described as military-style features useful in combat.^[2] (Definition from Wikipedia)


The NRA remains silent on the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School. Their initial statement that they were waiting for the facts hasn't been updated, to the best of my knowledge.

The facts are the guns carried by the perpetrator of this horrific crime against innocent citizens – and children – were legal, registered, semi-automatic weapons. How do you defend that? How do you say that's okay?

You don't.

Or at least I don't, but I'm pretty sure the NRA will spin it so their members can feel good about totin' their guns and firin' their arms.

The NRA website claims to be the nation's foremost defender of Second Amendment rights. I'd like to somehow, politely, like a lady, tell the NRA to fuck off.

I have no problem with your Second Amendment rights. If you want to own a musket or a muzzleloader to kill your dinner, you go for it. Even if you want to own a musket or a muzzleloader to defend your property, go right ahead.

As long as the individual attacking you also is armed with a musket or a muzzleloader. The Founders had no concept of the kinds of weaponry available to the well-armed militia 200 years hence. None.

My husband and I had a good day yesterday. We hugged our four little grandchildren often, played with them all afternoon, decorated cookies, opened presents, were so very reluctant to leave.

We're very lucky. And we know it. And we are grateful for our good fortune. But as was demonstrated Friday in Connecticut, it can all go away in an instant.