Break's over

Well, the past few days have convinced me that rest is what my poor sick foot needs. I was alternately on and off my feet, and the days I was on (or took a long walk) meant some uncomfortable nights. The anti-inflammatory I'm taking is helping some – the burning pain isn't quite as intense, nor do the episodes last as long. But I'm not fixed yet by any means.

I didn't weigh myself this morning. We'll get back to more healthful meals this week now that the leftovers are almost gone, and I'll continue The Plan of weighing and reporting on Mondays sometime this month. Maybe even next week, although we'll be out of town over the weekend. It's always something.

(By the way, what do you get when you make turkey-rice soup out of leftover turkey? Leftover turkey-rice soup! Arghhh!)

I wanted to show you my Thanksgiving centerpiece. I stole the idea from Martha, but she used pale blue candles and Epsom salts, for a Hanukkah decoration. My candles are creamy vanilla and I used turbinado sugar.

I'm trying to find some burgundy ornaments to put in place of the baby pumpkins and some tiny gold ornaments to put in place of the nuts. No luck so far, but I've only looked in two places. My husband wonders why I'm bothering.

Boys.

Camo is the new black

You city-dwellers have no idea what it's like to wake up to the sound of gunshots echoing across the hills. Perhaps you've heard the sound of handguns pinging back and forth in a back alley, something we don't get much of here in the Middle of Nowhere.

There's no comparison.

If I heard a volley of shots, I'd take that as a sure sign to Get Out Of The Way. What we hear from the mountains are booms of thunder, distant and ominous. We wear bright colors when we walk, and we keep a close eye on the dogs when they are out. One neighbor dresses her dogs' collars in bright orange ribbons. Not a bad idea.

Buck hunting season began Monday morning, bright and early. I heard the first shot just prior to 7 a.m. I've been in town both days this week – Monday was personal maintenance, yesterday was car maintenance – and the number of folks I've seen dressed in camouflage is astonishing. I felt rather out of place at the service station dressed in solid black slacks and a beige tunic.

I've seen more eight-point bucks loaded on the beds of pickup trucks in the past two days than I've seen all year roaming the woods near our house. Where do they hang out when it's not hunting season?

I understand the necessity of culling the herd, really I do. Both my husband and I have had the unfortunate experience of meeting a deer up close and personal on a highway. Peoples' gardens are at risk all summer. And deer can do incredible damage to expensive and beautiful landscape plants.

I'd just as soon not see it, though. Maybe next year we should plan a vacation around hunting season. Instead of bringing our money into West Virginia (hunters contribute a huge amount of income to our state), we would be taking it into, Las Vegas, maybe. I can't think of any city more unlike rural West Virginia!

I'm taking a few days off. We're hosting dinner tomorrow, so I'll be cooking up a storm today and tomorrow, and getting creative with leftovers Friday and throughout the weekend. Lots of football on tap – it's rivalry weekend for college games. And I could use a little electronic break. Have a wonderful Turkey Day, if you celebrate it, and I'll "see" you next week.

Dr. Google was wrong!

No big surprise there. Unless, of course, Dr. C. is wrong. But I doubt that. Nothing is more valuable in medicine than being able to have a face-to-face – or, in my case, face-to-ankle – consultation in order to make a diagnosis.

I have a superficial vein thrombosis, which causes almost exactly the symptoms I have. I'm on a prescription anti-inflammatory and I'm to rest as much as possible, but I can still take a daily walk. Just don't push it, he said. And don't run for a while. The Merck Manual also says hot compresses are beneficial.

The symptom that can't really be accounted for is the numbness, but he told me that the vein might be pressing on a nerve, and that can cause my foot to tingle and then go numb. I feel certain it will go away with time; after all, the other one did.

Our hospital cuts their fees in half (I had to have a blood test) if you pay cash on the spot, which I did. I figured I'm not going to make it to my $3000 deductible before January 1, 2010, and if I let them turn it in to Aetna, I'd end up paying twice as much out of pocket. Isn't it lovely to send the insurance company an obscene amount of money every month and then still pay for your own office visit and lab work?

We had a little excitement when the phone rang in the early afternoon. Dr. C. himself was calling to report the result of the blood test. This test (a D-Dimer) would, if the number were normal, rule out a deep vein thrombosis (DVT). Normal is 550. Mine was 657. If I had a DVT, the number would have been 3000 or more. Dr. C. wanted me to have an ultrasound just to be sure; I declined. Eventually he said if it were his wife, he would take the wait-and-see approach as well.

I understand that he was covering his ass in urging me to come back for another test. He's being prudent and practicing good medicine. If I do end up with a DVT, I can't sue him for negligence, nor would I. I made the decision.

So there you have it. A couple weeks (I hope it's not longer!) of lying around the shanty and I should be good to go again.

My weight is like the stock market

Up. Down. Up. Down.

Today? Up, of course.

We had company Friday and Saturday, which means four days of eating too much and exercising too little. I can hear you saying, "That does not compute. Two days of company does not equal four days of no exercise." Ah, but it does, because the day before they arrive is a day of major floor-cleaning (almost my entire house is a laminate canvas for dog footprints), and the day after they leave is a day of major resting. And we all know that cleaning floors is not the same as a five-mile walk. Nor is resting. Heh.

There's another problem, though. Something I alluded to a couple of months ago has returned to throw a wrench in my plans. I had a doctor's appointment in September to check out an odd growth on my right ankle. The growth disappeared, so I canceled the appointment. In the last couple of weeks, though, I've experienced numbness on the top of my foot most of the time, accompanied by searing, burning pain in the middle of the night.

The pain is present whenever I'm sitting or lying down. If I'm walking or otherwise upright, I notice the numbness, but it doesn't hurt. So I'm not sure if I should be resting it more, or never resting at all.

Dr. Google says it's either a stress fracture or, more likely, a pinched nerve. And I really can't put off going to the doctor about this. I'm not sleeping well, I'm not exercising and I'm not making any progress with My Plan. And, frankly, I don't like not being able to feel one of my extremities. I suppose I would eventually get used to it, but do I really want to? I don't think so. This is what Health Savings Accounts were meant to pay for, I suppose. (My insurance policy doesn't cover office visits.)

Benjamin Franklin said,

You may delay, but time will not.

To me, that means that I can postpone something I know I need to take care of – losing weight, training for a race or going to the doctor – but time marches on, oblivious of my schedule, motivation or injury. I'd better get to gettin'.

Puh-lease

From the New York Times today, regarding the Senate health insurance reform bill, announced last night:

"Many provisions of Mr. Reid’s bill, including the creation of insurance markets, or exchanges, would take effect in 2014, a year later than similar provisions of the House bill. The delay is intended primarily to reduce the cost of the legislation."

Five years. Um, I mean, FIVE YEARS!

Get a calculator and figure out what your insurance premium is going to cost if you increase it, oh, 15% each year for five years. (And if you have employer-based insurance, you're not out of this mix, because your employer is going to raise your contribution and reduce your benefits as time goes by. And keep in mind that my insurer raised their premiums twice this year, for an effective increase of 33%.)

Then figure out how you're going to pay for it.

I don't know anyone who has gotten a 15% increase in salary lately. In fact, of the people I'm closest to, two lost their jobs within the past year. One has returned to work part-time, the other is still looking. One who hadn't worked in 12 years is now working full-time in order to provide insurance benefits. One has taken two pay cuts in order to keep a job.

And I'm sorry, but that bullshit about the delay being a way to "reduce the cost of legislation?" Sounds like a way for insurance companies to stick it to their customers for half a decade more.

Disappointed? Who, me? You betcha. Bitterly. I hope there's something in the more than 2000 pages that puts the brakes on rising premiums beginning on Day One. So far I haven't found it.

Bag it

Okay, back to normal. Thanks for putting up with my little rant yesterday. The problem is not solved, not by any means, but I'm taking steps.

I promised two knitted bags to put in a gift shop for a holiday open house and I'm on the handle of the second one. Yeah! Once I start the handle I'm in the home stretch. I then need to felt them, create and attach some kind of tag to them and they are outta here!

Lots going on the next couple of weeks. Company coming this weekend, then Thanksgiving, followed by a short trip to Ohio to visit the triplet grandsons (and their parents!). I should probably make a list of Things I Need To Do, but somehow, whether there's a list or not, everything eventually gets done.

Food wasn't so great yesterday. Stress and anger do that to me. Some women clean when they get emotional. I bake. But I also walked, both Monday and yesterday, and plan to get out there again today before it rains. One good thing about rain in West Virginia – we rarely have all-day soakers. A motivated outdoor walker can almost always find a break in the clouds to get out and get 'er done.

Rant. Rave. Repeat.

This post has nothing to do with my personal health, running, knitting, losing weight or fitness. It has everything to do with the health of our country and our economy.

I don't care what political stripe you wear, we can certainly agree that the U.S. economy, while showing signs of a comeback, is in dire straits. One of the major reasons companies are struggling is trying to keep up with increasing health insurance rates.

The simplest solution for everyone except Big Insurance and Big Pharma is to enact Medicare for All legislation.

I've been a single-payer advocate for years, but kind of backed off when healthcare reform seemed like it was really going to happen. Something is better than nothing, I thought. I'm rethinking that stance, particularly in light of the letter I received yesterday from Aetna, who provides my private health insurance.

My premium (and yours, too, if you're an Aetna member) will be increased in January 2010. Since I became a member 18 months ago, my premium will have risen 33 percent. This is the second rate increase within a year. They have provided exactly one benefit service to me, an annual visit to my OB-GYN.

Is it just me, or is it a coincidence that less than two weeks after major legislation is passed in Congress, Aetna needs to raise their rates across the board to all "current and new customers"?

I've written to my state insurance commissioner and to Aetna, and I've sent faxes to my legislators and to the President.

I've scanned the somewhat local classifieds and written to one company about a job opportunity, which might pay enough to cover my monthly premium and travel expenses to and from the job but, being part-time, most certainly won't offer benefits.

I've cried. I've ranted. I've raved.

I'm sick about this, I truly am. Unfortunately, my policy doesn't cover office visits.

Week Four: Stats and Results

Setting goals is helpful, but it depends – of course – on the goal.

A pie-in-the-sky goal of losing X pounds in a week is (for me, anyway) doomed to fail. If I have a goal like that in the back of my mind, I almost always will do something to sabotage my bad self and then blame my lack of progress on overserving.

Heh.

But setting a goal of not using artificially sweetened coffee creamer? Now that one worked. I also didn't buy any sugar-free ice cream. Here are this week's stats:

Stats for Week Four:
Average daily calories burned: 346
Average daily calories consumed: 1082

The result? I lost two pounds. Which means after a month of tracking calories in/out, I've gained half a pound.

That should be discouraging, but for some reason it isn't. I feel like I've been back on track for two consecutive weeks, and clearly I can never do Halloween again. Ever!

Last Friday I did something I never thought I'd do. Lately I'm all about eating not only less food, but also better food. Very little of the food I buy has an attached label. Michael Pollan isn't the first to suggest shopping the perimeter of the grocery store and, truly, most of the perimeter products have labels these days. But if you buy more produce than packages, you generally will be eating more healthful meals.

So what did I do Friday? I learned to make butter, mozzarella and cottage cheese. And Saturday I made yogurt. The food processor did most of the work on the butter, but I was surprised that it was actually pale yellow when it was finished. For some reason I thought home-churned butter ended up being the color of the cream from which it was made.

The cottage cheese and mozzarella were amazing. I was astonished at the mozzarella, especially. And it tasted great on our Friday night pizzas.

My yogurt turned out a little thin and not quite tangy enough for my taste. I strained some of it and it's definitely thick enough now, but I think I'll let the next batch incubate longer. I followed this recipe and one of the last things they tell you is to follow it exactly the first time, and then make adjustments for your taste after that. I used Oikos Plain Greek Yogurt for my starter, but the recipe called for Dannon. In another recipe I read yesterday, which also called for Dannon plain as a starter, it was suggested that organic yogurts (such as Oikos) might be less fresh, which could account for my thin results.

My daughter and mother-in-law are less than impressed. Each of them said, "Isn't it easier just to go to Kroger?" Well, yes, it probably is easier, if you don't have to get in the car and drive 12 miles (to Tiny Kroger) and hand them some cashmoneybucks and drive home and open a package in order to get to the product. Which they don't. Me? I'm fine with spending the day at home, watching milk turn into cheese.

Friday Quote Day

Luck is what happens when

preparation meets opportunity.
~ Seneca, Roman philosopher, mid-1st century AD

In other words, you can't credit your good fortune to whichever way the wind blows.

It's hunting season here in the Middle of Nowhere. You will occasionally hear someone say, "What a lucky shot!" But really? Is there such a thing? I'm not a hunter, so I wouldn't know. (Remember, I'm the one who invites all the neighborhood deer to live in my woods during hunting season.) But I can hazard a guess that the lucky shot goes to the man or woman who peers deep into the leaves and branches, understands deer behavior, becomes one with the woods and happens to be toting a loaded gun.

Or consider a pilot landing a small aircraft. He or she may think that just-executed smooth landing has everything to do with luck. I'm a private pilot who has walked away from any number of landings thanking my lucky stars. But really? I was trained well, I practiced regularly and I was prepared for whatever might happen as the wheels hit the ground. Did the wind change direction suddenly? I can correct for that. Did I misjudge how far it was until the runway came up to meet the tires? I prepared for a bit harder landing.

It's easy to blame poor results on bad luck, as well. We in the weight loss and fitness game know better than that. Poor results – as in a weight gain, since that's what we're talking about here – mean we burned fewer calories than we consumed. Plain and simple, no luck about it. Burning fewer calories can mean we didn't exercise enough or we ate more than we'd planned or, perhaps, there's a medical problem which prevents us from burning those calories.

I'd love to think that's the box into which I fit, but my annual check-ups tell me I'm still within normal ranges. Darn it.

One thing's certain: Bad luck has nothing to do with the day of the week.

I'm going to watch out for black cats, though.

Note to Marla: Yes, there is such a word as "overdrinking." And I've also heard and used the word "overserved." It wasn't that I continued to order drinks beyond my capacity, it was the bartender's fault! Heh.

One day at a time

The backstory is here, if you're unfamiliar with my Other Life. It's been 19 years today since I've had a drink of alcohol or another mind-altering substance. I'm grateful on a daily basis, but I'm especially grateful on anniversaries.

No matter what else happens in my life, getting and staying sober is both my biggest job and greatest reward. Without a clear head, I'm useless to myself or others. I'm certainly not perfect and I don't have all the answers, but at least I have a fighting chance, as long as I don't drink.

In AA we say the farther away we are from our last drink, the closer we are to our next one. I don't want to forget that last drink, ever. In the whole scheme of things, it wasn't particularly exciting. I didn't get arrested or have a wreck or wind up in bed with a stranger. It was just one more foggy night punctuating years of murk and gloom. I'm rather glad I didn't end my drinking with an exclamation point, or I might still be trying to chase the buzz. (There were plenty of exclamation points during my drinking years. Enough, actually.)

I'm especially grateful that my children allow me to be part of their lives. I think that's why my volunteer service taking an AA meeting to a women's prison is so meaningful to me. Those women, most of them mothers, are aching – just as I was – for a way to repair the relationships with their sons and daughters. I'll never be finished making those amends.

Ahem.

I'm not terribly worried about my results last week. Weight fluctuates from day to day; Sunday morning it looked like I was going to be able to report a loss, but I officially weigh in on Monday, so that's what I had to go with.

I've taken a few breaks over time, but for the past, oh, 10 years or so I've been trying to lose weight or maintain a weight loss. And seriously? I've been on some kind of diet or another since I was 11. ELEVEN! I used to work for Weight Watchers. I know what to do. I know what should work. If it doesn't, so be it. I'm fit enough to walk five miles a day; how many 58-year-old women can do that?

Also? Reporting results is not the same as asking for advice. Perhaps I'm being a big defensive here, but let's just all assume that I know how to weigh, measure, count, etc., and that I'm using data that a program or a device has calculated for me.

Seriously, if I write in a post the words "moving on," as I did yesterday, that means I'm okay with this week and I'm, well, moving on to the next.

So. Moving on.

I've nearly finished reading The Omnivore's Dilemma, and I don't want it to end. Michael Pollan follows the food chain for four meals, from source to table, and his skill at making this subject both interesting and enlightening is amazing. As a non-hunter myself, I'm riveted by his description of his emotions during his quest to kill a wild pig.

(On my walk yesterday, I asked a local bow hunter to please not kill the little twin deer who live in my woods. He smiled and said he was heading "up yonder." I noted that he didn't promise not to kill the twins if he saw them.)

There is one good thing about reaching the end of this book: I have his next one in the queue.

Week Three: Stats and Results

Grrr.

I stayed the same this week, meaning those 2.5 pounds from my week away from home have decided to visit a bit longer. My workouts were spotty this week, and I'm taking sugar-free ice cream off the menu for a while.

I also haven't done so well with going back to black coffee. This week's goal is to not use creamer. I might use some cream, but I'll be sure to measure it and count the calories.

Stats for Week Three:

Average daily calories burned: 383
Average daily calories consumed: 1130

You'd think anyone could lose a pound or two with those numbers, wouldn't you?

Mary's interpretation of Friday's quote is spot-on; that's how I looked at it, too. I've been buoyed up all weekend thinking about wanting what I have, instead of longing for something out of my reach. Of course I draw the line at my weight. I'll probably have a weight-loss goal until my children throw me into the ground. Which is kind of sad, isn't it?

What would happen if I were satisfied with my weight right where it is?

I'm sooo not there.

Moving on: I finished the triplets' Christmas stockings Saturday. Yeah! I have a couple little treats to put in them, and we're delivering them early next month.

In gardening news, it appears that flat-leaf parsley is impervious to frost. The basil curled up and died a couple weeks ago, while the parsley is amazingly healthy. And, apparently, hardy. I dried some in the microwave and got a small spice jar's worth out of it. But there's loads of it left. I'll probably chop it and freeze it. And I probably won't need to plant any for a couple of years.

This is one of two plants still thriving.

The dried result.

Friday Quote Day

Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more;
whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more;
love more and all good things will be yours.
~ Swedish Proverb

Today's quote tells me to move toward the light of good living and away from the darkness of negativity. This proverb doesn't forbid anything: There are no musts here. Just encouragement to be a little more positive, a little less defeatist.

Good stuff for someone like me who enjoys beating myself up about missing (another) walk this week.

Yesterday got away from me, plain and simple. I tried to make up for the lack of a serious walk with some leaf-raking, but we all know that's not a fair comparison.

I need to reorder the words so that "whine less" is the first directive in the quote.

"Eat less" is always good advice, unless you're anorexic. (Have any of you ever, as I have, prayed for anorexia?) "Chew more" tells me to enjoy what I have, and it doesn't matter if it's reading material, yarn or food. The key to happiness is wanting what you already have.

I have plenty of hope (else why would I keep on keepin' on, lo these many years?), so the first part of the quote doesn't really apply to me. I wouldn't say I'm fearless, but I just don't let fear rule my world. I see too many people doing that, and the result is a lot of unhappy, bitter, negative people. I don't want that for myself. How did I let go of fear? I wish I knew the secret; if I did, I'd give it away. Maybe then we'd get a single-payer health care system!

I certainly can, however, use the "talk less, say more" advice. My husband's two biggest complaints about me are that I'm impulsive and that I interrupt him. I just can't wait to add my two cents to our conversations. I've been working on this one, but it's certainly not automatic for me to keep my mouth shut. Perhaps that's why this particular quote from my collection struck me as something I need to think about this week.

It's easy to love when the object of your affection loves you back. Two-year-olds, puppies, good friends and, of course, husbands, are both lovable and worthy of loving. There are some, though, who (whom?) you love out of duty, and it feels awkward and false. I think praying for their happiness and good fortune may be what I need to do to jump the hurdle from obligatory love to something more genuine.

What does this week's quote say to you?

Gooooooooooo, Yankees!

I haven't mentioned it much, but I'm a Yankees fan. And if I hadn't taken two Motrin yesterday afternoon, I'm sure I would have loved watching them win Game 6 of the World Series. As it was, I ended up in bed, moaning with a stomach ache, before the sixth inning. My husband kept me informed, though, walking from the den to the bedroom to announce each additional Yankee run until I fell asleep.

I have two Yankee t-shirts; last night I wore the Derek Jeter one, since the team shirt didn't work Monday night. I've hearted Jeter for years.

I grew up in Ohio and my dad had season tickets to the Cincinnati Reds, so I was a Big Red Machine fan all through my school years. That was when Johnny Bench and Pete Rose and Joe Morgan were part of the machine – good times!

My husband had the great good fortune to actually attend the Yankees World Series game in 1956 when Don Larsen pitched the only perfect game in World Series history. It didn't take much for me to switch allegiances when I moved to West Virginia. That Jeter's such a hunk.

Got a five-miler in yesterday, after I vacuumed and mopped all my floors. I was so tired, but I knew if I walked first I'd find some excuse not to clean. I'm doing great with food this week. We finished up the Moroccan Stew last night. Tonight I'm making black bean soup. If, that is, I remember to quick-soak the beans before the day gets away from me.

I love how nice my floors look after they've been cleaned and mopped. I think the only way to keep them that way would be to

• not have any pets and
• not wear shoes in the house

Those are two things I'm not willing to do in order to have pretty floors.

Oh, deer, oh, deer, oh deer

Look who joined us for dinner last night!

It took me half a minute to realize that this little deer family is the same one I've been seeing on my walks since mid-summer. The two little ladies used to have spots and were tiny-tiny. Now they're nearly grown! I usually see them about a mile from my house on a densely wooded hillside. I guess they learned of my invitation to all the neighborhood deer to hang out at our place during hunting season. Heh.

Yesterday was, as predicted, a very busy day. The bad thing is: No walk. In fact, no exercise of any kind unless you count primping in the mirror looking at my sassy new glasses and haircut. The good thing is: No overeating, because who has time to eat when you're driving, shopping and primping?

We're going to have another beautiful day today – this will be three in a row – and I'll definitely be out for a walk when it warms up a bit. This morning I'm going to work on the damage my house incurred while it was in my husband's solo care – he doesn't notice coffee spills and dog hair and dust bunnies, oh my – and also finish the freelance job I was working on when I ran out of ink. I just hope I bought enough yesterday to finish it.

We're having Moroccan Stew reruns for dinner; I might bake a loaf of bread to go with it – before I clean the kitchen floor. Not only am I a messy baker, I notice the mess!

Just visiting

My friend Anne commented that those extra pounds from last week's debacle are "just visiting." I love that! It's just too bad that when I go visiting, a couple extra pounds decide to come home with me, along with all the dirty laundry.

I got right back on my plan yesterday. Took a 10K walk that started mid-morning and ended at noon and, while I didn't really plan it this way, yesterday was a completely vegetarian day. As a rule, meatless meals tend to be higher in fiber and good carbs and lower in calories, a very good thing to kick off the week.

We had a wonderful dinner last night. This recipe was the starting point, but I didn't have an eggplant, a zucchini or a sweet potato. Did I let that stop me? Uh-uh, no, sir, not on your life. The great thing about most stew-type recipes is that anything goes. I added three small russet potatoes, a small butternut squash, some celery and a can of mushrooms to the onions, tomatoes (I used canned), garlic, spices and chickpeas, and it was delish!

I didn't use canned chickpeas, either. Dried beans of any variety are tastier than canned and you get the bonus of less sodium. They're cheap, easy, filling, nutritious and they keep just as well as canned ones do.

Today will be very busy … I ran out of one color of ink during a printing job for a freelance client, so have to pick more up this morning. Then I need to pick up my new glasses – I'm so excited, I've been wearing the same outdated pair for two or three years now and I'm oh-so-ready for trendy new specs. I need to do three loads of laundry before I go get the ink. Add a haircut in the afternoon and my volunteer gig at the prison tonight and I think my day will be done. If nothing else pops up on the schedule. Good thing someone else will be combing my hair, 'cause I sure won't have time to do it!

Monday: A great day ...

for starting. And for starting over!

I'm only a little bummed, actually, because I had so much fun this past week. But I guess I'm not such a good dieter/exerciser when I'm traveling. Or maybe it depends on the traveling. I can imagine myself being able to keep up the exercise at the beach or, as I did in September, at a lodge. But even then I didn't rein in the food.

I gained back the two pounds I lost the first week, plus another half. I can't even begin to estimate the average number of calories I consumed or burned each day I was gone. So here we go, Day One all over again.

And that's all I have to say about that.